AP RedWhy Do Birds Suddenly Appear...
August 25th 2006 01:25
Erica from Bass Hill writes:
"Dear All Knowing Geek,
I am in love with a man named Barry but he doesn't seem to share my feelings. I thought that maybe he felt the same way about me at one time but he's been increasingly distant and dismissive of me. What should I do?"
Well Erica, my phenomonal brain pulsates for thee. I thought about your problem at length (right throughout an entire ad-break during Law and Order in fact) and the oyster of my intelligence produced enough mucous to generate some real pearls of wisdom for you.
Unrquited love is at times near unbearable. You feel a magging ache in the pit of your stomach and everything around you reminds you of the subject of your one way affections. The formation of clouds on any given day may remind you of Barry's smile. The blare of a buses' horn may remind you of Barry's voice. Overpriced bananas in the produce isle of your local supermarket may remind you of Barry's...penchant for fruit.
The point is Erica, you're probably lacking in Vitamin b12. Also - it's probably time to give that cloudy-faced, horn-voiced, fruit-loving bogan the flick. You should also forget about men entirely and go find yourself a nice girlfriend named Mandy. Chasing after a man named Barry after all is just plain sad. Remember Erica, when one explores same sex relationships, it's important to really give it a good go. Pillow fights and mud wrestling are great ways to bring a couple of potential 'gal pals' together. Remember to email me the photos so I can monitor your progress.
If you have a question you need answered just add a comment and the All Knowing Geek will garnish the salad of your problems with the croutons of his worldly wisdom.
Until next time - don't lick things that smell fungal.
"Dear All Knowing Geek,
I am in love with a man named Barry but he doesn't seem to share my feelings. I thought that maybe he felt the same way about me at one time but he's been increasingly distant and dismissive of me. What should I do?"
Well Erica, my phenomonal brain pulsates for thee. I thought about your problem at length (right throughout an entire ad-break during Law and Order in fact) and the oyster of my intelligence produced enough mucous to generate some real pearls of wisdom for you.
Unrquited love is at times near unbearable. You feel a magging ache in the pit of your stomach and everything around you reminds you of the subject of your one way affections. The formation of clouds on any given day may remind you of Barry's smile. The blare of a buses' horn may remind you of Barry's voice. Overpriced bananas in the produce isle of your local supermarket may remind you of Barry's...penchant for fruit.
The point is Erica, you're probably lacking in Vitamin b12. Also - it's probably time to give that cloudy-faced, horn-voiced, fruit-loving bogan the flick. You should also forget about men entirely and go find yourself a nice girlfriend named Mandy. Chasing after a man named Barry after all is just plain sad. Remember Erica, when one explores same sex relationships, it's important to really give it a good go. Pillow fights and mud wrestling are great ways to bring a couple of potential 'gal pals' together. Remember to email me the photos so I can monitor your progress.
If you have a question you need answered just add a comment and the All Knowing Geek will garnish the salad of your problems with the croutons of his worldly wisdom.
Until next time - don't lick things that smell fungal.
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Comment by Cibbuano
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Great post, Jas!
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