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In-Laws!!!

September 5th 2006 01:54
Mitchell of Canberra City writes:

"Dear All Knowing Geek,
I'm at my wits end! I'm married to a lovely girl named Gloria but her parents are a nightmare. We seem to be guilted into a visit to their place every other weekend and once we're there it's a hell of a job getting away. Gloria sees no problem and I feel so alone. Hold me!"


Well, well Mitchell - you're in quite the pickle aren't you chum? I know what you're going through. Yes, at one time even I - in my all knowingness - was hitched. I remember being tied into countless 'family occasions' and basically losing myself in a flurry of potato salad and the odd inquisition by my wife's hairy-chinned Aunts. It seemed that whenever we got to the In-Laws cave we were held for ransom as at that time I didn't have a car. It was like being a hostage negotiator trying to talk us out of captivity. My wife saw no problem with the whole thing and so I sympathise with you wholeheartedly though there will be no physical man-love between us and by that I mean the 'holding' of you by me (it's not you it's me and this rather large goita of mine.)

Very simply Mitchell, next time you find yourself trapped, do what I learnt to do and that is to start making lewd suggestions about you and your wife's sex life. Include the odd reference to sea mammals and various kitchen implements. If that fails have a crack at your mother in-law. Have too much wine at dinner and perhaps 'accidentally' refer to her as the "Mammary In-Law" whilst glaring at her breasts. This worked for me in the end...and by end I mean the end of my marriage and since then I haven't been happier!

Until next time - the best meat's in the breast!
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Comment by Jas

September 5th 2006 06:28
Do you have any creative suggestions for fleeing the In-Laws / Partner's Folks?

Comment by Adrian

September 5th 2006 06:34
Dear All Knowing Geek,

What are your favourite Sydney restaurants?

Comment by Ragin Cajun

September 11th 2006 07:27
What about fighting fire with fire? Invite your wife/partner to dinner with YOUR folks. But before that, secretly pay your parents to act like lunatics during the course of the meal. Either: a) she gets freaked-out and realizes what she's putting you through, or b) she gets charmed by their "eccentricities", in which case, you're screwed.

Comment by Jas

September 13th 2006 22:54
Adrian,
Tetsuya's would have to be my number 1 (see my blog on Food, Wine and Coffee for a brief write-up). I'm also pretty partial to Atelier in Glebe. The chef: Darren is one of the best in Sydney without doubt.

Comment by Jas

September 13th 2006 22:56
Good idea Cajin. It'd be cool to hire a couple of Carny's to do it. Maybe the strong man and the bearded lady or some of those dudes with the tiny heads.

Comment by Adrian

September 13th 2006 22:59
Thanks for that Jas. Looking for a place for a memorable birthday. Can't go to Tetsuya's, because of the seafood, but Atelier sounds brilliant. Will also check out your food and wine blog (haven't read it yet). Please do make a comment here if any other good restaurants come to mind (already been to Level 41).

Comment by Jas

September 14th 2006 02:15
Adrian,
If you want to go all-out then you can't beat a visit to Aria.
Matt Moran's spoken of with quiet awe amongst the Foodie Set. It's a little stodgy as far as ambience is concerned (for my tastes at least) but as soon as you sink your eating irons into the first dish you won't care. Watching the Aria team work is dazzling.

Click Here for ARIA Restaurant

Comment by BenP

September 14th 2006 03:49
I got lost in a flurry of poatato salad once, in the Yukon. By the time I found my way out...I was more animal than man.

I've known the best meat's in the breast for YEARS, though.

Comment by Adrian

September 14th 2006 06:45
Jas, thanks for the Aria recommendation. Will make sure to go to both Aria and Atelier! If you have any more, feel free to post 'em.

Comment by Chantal

September 25th 2006 11:33
Haha!! Love it!!

Although, I might want to ease into it and suss the situation out first... too lewd, too soon and you might be in the cargo carriage headed to Dumpsville!

Great post!

Comment by Jas

September 25th 2006 23:06
Thanks Chantal.
I've been to Dumpsville - the train trip's quite nice but once you get there you just want to head home again.

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