AP RedIn-Laws!!!
September 5th 2006 01:54
Mitchell of Canberra City writes:
"Dear All Knowing Geek,
I'm at my wits end! I'm married to a lovely girl named Gloria but her parents are a nightmare. We seem to be guilted into a visit to their place every other weekend and once we're there it's a hell of a job getting away. Gloria sees no problem and I feel so alone. Hold me!"
Well, well Mitchell - you're in quite the pickle aren't you chum? I know what you're going through. Yes, at one time even I - in my all knowingness - was hitched. I remember being tied into countless 'family occasions' and basically losing myself in a flurry of potato salad and the odd inquisition by my wife's hairy-chinned Aunts. It seemed that whenever we got to the In-Laws cave we were held for ransom as at that time I didn't have a car. It was like being a hostage negotiator trying to talk us out of captivity. My wife saw no problem with the whole thing and so I sympathise with you wholeheartedly though there will be no physical man-love between us and by that I mean the 'holding' of you by me (it's not you it's me and this rather large goita of mine.)
Very simply Mitchell, next time you find yourself trapped, do what I learnt to do and that is to start making lewd suggestions about you and your wife's sex life. Include the odd reference to sea mammals and various kitchen implements. If that fails have a crack at your mother in-law. Have too much wine at dinner and perhaps 'accidentally' refer to her as the "Mammary In-Law" whilst glaring at her breasts. This worked for me in the end...and by end I mean the end of my marriage and since then I haven't been happier!
Until next time - the best meat's in the breast!
"Dear All Knowing Geek,
I'm at my wits end! I'm married to a lovely girl named Gloria but her parents are a nightmare. We seem to be guilted into a visit to their place every other weekend and once we're there it's a hell of a job getting away. Gloria sees no problem and I feel so alone. Hold me!"
Well, well Mitchell - you're in quite the pickle aren't you chum? I know what you're going through. Yes, at one time even I - in my all knowingness - was hitched. I remember being tied into countless 'family occasions' and basically losing myself in a flurry of potato salad and the odd inquisition by my wife's hairy-chinned Aunts. It seemed that whenever we got to the In-Laws cave we were held for ransom as at that time I didn't have a car. It was like being a hostage negotiator trying to talk us out of captivity. My wife saw no problem with the whole thing and so I sympathise with you wholeheartedly though there will be no physical man-love between us and by that I mean the 'holding' of you by me (it's not you it's me and this rather large goita of mine.)
Very simply Mitchell, next time you find yourself trapped, do what I learnt to do and that is to start making lewd suggestions about you and your wife's sex life. Include the odd reference to sea mammals and various kitchen implements. If that fails have a crack at your mother in-law. Have too much wine at dinner and perhaps 'accidentally' refer to her as the "Mammary In-Law" whilst glaring at her breasts. This worked for me in the end...and by end I mean the end of my marriage and since then I haven't been happier!
Until next time - the best meat's in the breast!
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Comment by Jas
Stories: Put Them in Your Brain
Food, Wine and Coffee
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Comment by Adrian
Philosophy Blog
What are your favourite Sydney restaurants?
Comment by Ragin Cajun
Observer's Post
Death By Myopia
Comment by Jas
Stories: Put Them in Your Brain
Food, Wine and Coffee
One Planet
Tetsuya's would have to be my number 1 (see my blog on Food, Wine and Coffee for a brief write-up). I'm also pretty partial to Atelier in Glebe. The chef: Darren is one of the best in Sydney without doubt.
Comment by Jas
Stories: Put Them in Your Brain
Food, Wine and Coffee
One Planet
Comment by Adrian
Philosophy Blog
Comment by Jas
Stories: Put Them in Your Brain
Food, Wine and Coffee
One Planet
If you want to go all-out then you can't beat a visit to Aria.
Matt Moran's spoken of with quiet awe amongst the Foodie Set. It's a little stodgy as far as ambience is concerned (for my tastes at least) but as soon as you sink your eating irons into the first dish you won't care. Watching the Aria team work is dazzling.
Click Here for ARIA Restaurant
Comment by BenP
I've known the best meat's in the breast for YEARS, though.
Comment by Adrian
Philosophy Blog
Comment by Chantal
Although, I might want to ease into it and suss the situation out first... too lewd, too soon and you might be in the cargo carriage headed to Dumpsville!
Great post!
Comment by Jas
Stories: Put Them in Your Brain
Food, Wine and Coffee
One Planet
I've been to Dumpsville - the train trip's quite nice but once you get there you just want to head home again.