AP RedSuck-Ces!
September 28th 2006 09:47
Phyllis from Terry Hills writes:
"Dear All Knowing Geek,
I have 2 questions for you this week: 1) How do I achieve real success in my life and 2) How do I get stubborn coffee stains out of my tablecloth?"
Phyllis,
the Dictionary defines success as:
1. the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors.
2. the attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like.
I define success as sitting in a kiddie pool full of imported beer whilst watching cartoons and having my shoulders pummeled by a hairy slavic woman with a penchant for whistling Andrew Lloyd Webber melodies.
Success is such an arbitrary thing Phyllis. One person may feel successful when they recline on their expensive italian lounge, feet propped up on a coffee table made from the wood of an endangered tree and dining on the fattened liver of a tortured goose. Another may feel successful having won enough money at the pokies to shout their mates to a couple of games of pool at their local. Success is what makes you feel contented and you should never have to sell your soul or anyone elses to get it.
As far as your stain goes - make a paste with some Bi-Carb of Soda and dab at the affected area.
Until next time - the word 'success' always makes me titter as it sounds like the title of an Aussie porno from the fifties.
"Dear All Knowing Geek,
I have 2 questions for you this week: 1) How do I achieve real success in my life and 2) How do I get stubborn coffee stains out of my tablecloth?"
Phyllis,
the Dictionary defines success as:
1. the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors.
2. the attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like.
I define success as sitting in a kiddie pool full of imported beer whilst watching cartoons and having my shoulders pummeled by a hairy slavic woman with a penchant for whistling Andrew Lloyd Webber melodies.
As far as your stain goes - make a paste with some Bi-Carb of Soda and dab at the affected area.
Until next time - the word 'success' always makes me titter as it sounds like the title of an Aussie porno from the fifties.
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