Wee Wee Weeee...all the way home
October 5th 2006 09:24
Juan from Castlecrag writes:
"Dear AKG,
MY girlfriend wants me to pee on her. I don't feel comfortable doing this at all - I feel it's wrong to do such a thing. What do you suggest I do to let her down easy and not make a big thing of it?"
Dear Juan,
You're really pissing against the wind here aren't you? Sorry - wee wee jokes tickle my fancy. Anyway, to say that peeing on your significant other is wrong is like saying that licking your palm and making your little brother smell it is wrong and we both know that's just not true. You might consider expanding your horizons and busting the dam on the old yellow river - who knows - you may find that you've been missing out all this time. Start small - hop into the shower with your old lady and take a wizz on her in there. It's a great way to induct yourself into the tiled halls of golden shower glory. There's nothing I like better than coming home after a hard day's curmudgeoning to find my Missus lying on the floor on plastic sheeting. The rest - as they say - is Piss-tory and we have ourselves a merry old time. Try getting yourself in the mood with a little music first. Might I suggest tracks such as: 'Mellow Yellow' and 'Fields of Gold' for starters.
I can't really pin down the psychology but peeing on your partner just feels right. Maybe it's the wicked thrill, maybe it's the mixture of relief and arousal or perhaps it's just payback for all those nightly gas emissions on your privates whilst going the spoon. Let the good times flow and you'll enter a new world of sensual pleasures - sure it's a world that smells sorta' funny but so does the back room of Club X and I've probably seen you there with a handful of $2 coins so who are you to judge!!
Until next time - peeing on a blue-bottle sting is just an excuse...
"Dear AKG,
MY girlfriend wants me to pee on her. I don't feel comfortable doing this at all - I feel it's wrong to do such a thing. What do you suggest I do to let her down easy and not make a big thing of it?"
Dear Juan,
You're really pissing against the wind here aren't you? Sorry - wee wee jokes tickle my fancy. Anyway, to say that peeing on your significant other is wrong is like saying that licking your palm and making your little brother smell it is wrong and we both know that's just not true. You might consider expanding your horizons and busting the dam on the old yellow river - who knows - you may find that you've been missing out all this time. Start small - hop into the shower with your old lady and take a wizz on her in there. It's a great way to induct yourself into the tiled halls of golden shower glory. There's nothing I like better than coming home after a hard day's curmudgeoning to find my Missus lying on the floor on plastic sheeting. The rest - as they say - is Piss-tory and we have ourselves a merry old time. Try getting yourself in the mood with a little music first. Might I suggest tracks such as: 'Mellow Yellow' and 'Fields of Gold' for starters.
Until next time - peeing on a blue-bottle sting is just an excuse...
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